TheDreamstersUnion

I am walking down these stairs and when I stop these black ants get onto my blue shirt. Paul is behind me on the stairs, holding my shoulders and keeping me still. I push the ants off. I tell Paul to let me go. I get to the bottom of the stairs and find one more ant and push it off.

Feeling: kind of grossed out and uncomfortable

Daynotes: See Tree Man

Definitely the talk with Kevin is bugging me. Paul is my ground when these episodes happen. I am working on going into my unconscious and healing from the triggering affect from Kevin’s phone call.

There is a festival. There are two buses of 2nd graders who arrive. I am with an older woman. We draw a picture of four, young guys who are well known musicians. Five, young guys come to look at it. They seem somber. They then walk away across this park. The last guy turns and the back of him is a small tree with yellow leaves. I get my camera and try to catch up with them. I see the other guys, but can no longer see the tree man. I am disappointed.

Daynotes: Rough Day. Kevin called and said how we/I messed up again. 1. Not giving Markus equal time/attention, 2. Didn’t come to meet Markus until he was 10 months old, 3. Not giving Markus as many presents as Rowan when he was a baby. 4. Not giving Markus an age appropriate gift this time. 5. Not knowing Antonia. 6. Says that he does not havpe good boundaries with us. 7. Lastly, he is stopping story time.

I said it feels like punishment and it doesn’t solve the problem. He is not only hurting us/me, but also the kids. I am sad, grieving, angry, hurt.

I am sitting in front of a group of people in a small auditorium-similar to a gym. Nancy and another person are to my right closer to the group. They are trying to show a slide show about Nancy. I am in an animal costume that has brown fur and short horns. I sit in front of the group with my right arm slung casually across the back of the chair I am on.

There is a scene where Nancy has collected all these large conch shells. She is on a beach. She puts them in a box.

Back to the slide show….Nancy asks me for help with the slide show. She is trying to find a specific group of slides. I go over to her thinking I can’t do much to help. I keep pushing a fast forward button on this tape recorder. There is scene after scene of Nancy on some adventure; usually with a friend. I figure we will eventually fast forward to the part that she wants to show the group. It is a bit frustrating. However, it is also fun to see all the fun adventures she had.

Daynotes: flew from Seattle to Tucson yesterday after a visit with Kevin and his family.

This dream feels like a visit from Nancy telling me she is doing fine and is reviewing her life and is grateful.