(Wednesday, December 20, 2017) moon waxing crescent Capricorn / tarot Star
A visually simple dream that takes place in a near-void. Grey and dim. No walls or ceilings or floors.
A woman sits at the center of a white table. She is a writer, masterfully guiding a dream workshop. She must be Victoria, but she doesn’t look like Victoria. Her hair is lighter in color, silvery-brown. She wears less jewelry than Victoria’s decorative Santa Fe style.
I sit at the far end of the white table, which reminds me of the table at Susan’s workshop in Virginia Beach that Bonnie and I attended. Next to me is a young woman poet, a gifted, professional writer. She sits very close, nearly embracing me, and quietly, lovingly describes my poetic genius. With gratitude, I purse my lips in Jill Purce’s “rabbit mouth” posture, chanting: “mindfunda!”
Day notes:
I have been unusually depressed this fall, experiencing deep shame from poor life decisions of decades past. One night I even felt I deserved to die. On a spiritual level I understand that I am paying karmic debts, willingly, but my ego feels sorrow and remorse. Alchemical yellowing. Monday Peter asked the Dreamsters if we were open to inviting a friend of his to become a new member, and I thought this might be the right time for me to step away from our dream group. I constantly struggle with the Ullman method and with the psychology of dreams, even though I have read dozens (maybe hundreds) of books on the subject. I often feel that I offer little contribution to the Dreamsters. Last night I was obsessed with this anxiety for hours. So the dream calmed me a bit.
I received an email today from Cullan’s girlfriend Hillary, who is a professional writer. A loving young woman.
Great fun in my studio today working on Black Wolf Romeo. Tuesday morning after dream group I had this inspiration: create clay sculptures for people of their dream images or spirit animals. Cullan could help me with the website.
The table in my home office, where I used to host the Dreamsters, is white.
I have four hundred dreams recorded in this blog. At some point I would like to make them available to IASD researchers, if that is of value. The way dreams are written is critical to me.
I created a fun, hip-looking logo this week for a new program at work called “Mindfit.”
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You better not leave!! Your essence/spirit brings us all to a higher level. I look at you as being more advanced than the rest of us. (Pat is your male counterpart)- The Priestess and the Hermit. Maybe it is time to shake our group up and look at our dreams from a different perspective. More spiritual (like the alchemical perspective- or from a global message) Maybe do more incubating and ask for a dream related to something outside of ourselves. I don’t know, but it would be good to talk about it.
I love your idea about making dream images out of clay for dreamers. I would like a snake!
I am sorry you have been going through depression. No sun and everyone getting fired at your place probably doesn’t help. I hope you are feeling better.
Why mindfunda? Is the Susan Susan Armington with the little pieces? Not Susan Van Doorn who has the mindfunda website? Maybe it would be good to read our dreams aloud and then spend time writing a poem from our dreams and end the night by sharing them?