I am at a hotel. I am sharing a bedroom with a younger woman. However, the next scene has me in bed with Paul. I get up to go to breakfast. I walk a long way into town. I wear a hat. I see a reflection of me in a window. I do not like how I look. (at least in the hat!) There is a parade happening in town. I walk past the barriers on the road. I find the hotel (same one I was at!!)
There is a small crowd of people around inside the lobby. I see my father. He is in his 50’s. Kevin is with me. He is four years old. He looks just like he did at that age. So darling. Becky is there also. She is also late 40’s, maybe 50. (she is 65 now). She is the age she was when she cut me off. Dad hugs me. I say Becky is here and he hugs her. Becky disowned Dad also in waking life. Dad then hugs Kevin. He knocks Kevin on the forehead a bit which was more clumsy than meaning to hurt Kevin. (I think) Dad is a bit awkward as well as with Becky.
Kevin and I go into eat. We sit at a counter. We order food from a woman who is sitting behind plexiglass. (reminds me of when I took Kevin, at five years old, to the bakery before school on Thursday mornings. We sat at the counter and he ordered a chocolate cupcake.)
Feeling: Surprised that Dad and Becky were there. Happy to be with Kevin. He is so fun, innocent and happy.
Day Notes: Had a good day. Mailed presents. Did Micheal Meade’s Winter Solstice Ritual. It covered Ancestors, Forgiveness and Prayers for the future. Nice songs from Africa that Micheal sang. He has a good voice. I asked for help with letting go of anger and hurt and asked to be able to forgive Kevin and Antonia.