Paul and I are in this small, old church with a full congregation. There is a young, woman minister. Jarad is there. (neighbor boy, 7 years old from Brooklyn Park). She has to shoot him. There is a couple standing ahead of us. Everyone is standing close to each other. The couple steps back and knock into this refrigerator next to me. They apologize. I say, it wasn’t me, but the refrigerator.
Then we are all up close to the alter and sitting down. The pews are facing toward the aisle. There is a fire place. It is all “sooty”. The minister is close to the fireplace and up front at the end of the aisle. She was going to light a fire but can’t for some reason. She has something on her face, over her forehead that goes around her head. It is made of metal, black and rounded. Jarad sits on a cushion in front of her in the aisle.
The minister is shaking, she does not feel comfortable having to shoot Jarad. Jarad is crying.We are all sitting now. Paul and I are in the second row on the left. I understand that Jarad knows what is to happen. I sit back in the pew (slink low-trying to hide). Then I hear Jarad or this disembodied voice call my name a few times. It is like I cannot ignor this and let it go on. I am scared. ( I literally do wake up.)
Day notes: Weekend before saw Kevin and Antonia in Galveston. Antonia got her feelings hurt when Paul gave her some advice that was the opposite of what she was saying and cut her off when she started to speak. She was quiet on the way back and then when they went into the hotel to check in, broke down with Kevin and wanted to drive back to Houston. I was very scared that what happened in 2010 would happen again, where Kevin would push us out of his life. I felt bad for Antonia and realize that she has buttons that were pushed. Kevin did respond to us, however and did not push us out of his life. I texted an apology the next day that he read to Antonia and he said that helped. Paul could not own his part in this, which is fine. (Paul has a very difficult time apologizing, period).