I am with a group of women. We are staying over night at a nice hotel in St. Cloud which has been updated. We eat in the Italian restaurant at the hotel. I eat a small pizza, but am still hungry. Someone gives me Deb’s spaghetti. I start to eat it and then am told that Deb has died. I go right into denial. I tell myself that I cannot grieve right now.
The women and I go to our rooms and sleep. The next morning, we get ready to leave. I look in the linen closet thinking I will change the sheets. I then realize, I am in a hotel and I do not have to change the sheets. We get into a van. I am driving. I slowly pull out of the parking place and into the traffic.
The main emotion is shock about Deb dying.
I worked a bit on this dream with my sister, Chris. Here is what I wrote:
If this were my dream I am with my feminine energy. I lived in St. Cloud for two years. It was a transitional time between living in Tower and the cities. St. Cloud is a conservative place and was not welcoming to Paul and I. (neither of us could find a good job). In the dream it is updated and looks good. I wonder if something in myself has changed for the better. A hotel is a temporary place to stay, sleep and eat. Maybe I am in a temporary state of some sort. I am hungry. A pizza doesn’t satisfy my hunger. Deb’s spaghetti is filling. Spaghetti is comfort food and pizza and spaghetti are Italian. Something foreign? Food is nurturing. Something about getting nurtured from what Deb gets nurtured from? Deb has died. I think of Deb as being very extroverted, positive and can be an overwhelming energy. Does this dream imply that the part of me that Deb represents needs to die? Or is it a warning to nurture myself more. Deb is an amazing cook in waking life. I am going to change the sheets. I love clean sheets in waking life. They feel like a renewal/new beginning. However, in the dream, I realize it is not my responsibility to change the sheets. I am driving the van, so I am in charge of my life.
Chris suggests I need to love/nurture myself more.