9/9/24 Reconnecting

I am at a wedding that is outside. It has a feel of being at the Renaissance Fair. I am the bride. I am in my 30’s and I wear a long flowing dress.

I am sitting at a table with two older women. We are eating and talking. I then go off by myself and walk down this lovely nature path that goes to a lake. Jeanne Guignon catches up to me. We look for a place to rest. We are now at a college. We peek into a classroom. It has some black, wrought iron furniture that doesn’t look too comfortable. There is a teacher sitting behind her desk. She is of Asian descent. We decide to move on.

We then go to a water ride like at Valley Fair. We are on a rubber boat that goes over water falls and sometimes goes under water and we hold our breath. It is very fun and thrilling. At the end of the ride a 12 year old girl and her father show up. He says he cannot do the water ride. Jeanne and I get off the ride. My husband comes and we go off to eat with my husband with our arms around each other’s waists. I am happy.

Day Notes: Kevin called last Thursday, 9/5/24. He sounded very depressed. He didn’t want to talk about how his and his family’s life are going in Copenhagen. He wanted to talk about his boundaries and expectations and said things like he wanted to build his own relationships in the family and feels that I orchestrate too much. He wants me to read his email from last April where he made bullet points: Here they are: 1. I am not entitled to information on what’s going on in his life or with his emotions. He will share what he wants, 2. He doesn’t want me to control or influence his decisions and to respect the decisions he makes 3. He wants me to stop using guilt and passive aggression in communication with him. I need to stop using my emotions or having my feelings hurt as a tool to pressure him., 4. He needs us to stop avoiding conflict as a family. 5. His wife and kids come first and he makes decisions with Antonia. I feel projected on. This phone call has triggered me. I have had about four nights where I am ruminating and not sleeping well. I asked for a dream to help me connect with Kevin in a positive way.

I shared this dream with my Arizona group yesterday. Here are some insights I gained: The wedding and the Renaissance are new beginnings. My dress is flowing-“Go with the flow”. The two older women are spirit guides. I gain knowledge, peace and nurturing from them. I then go on my own path toward a lake. I connect with myself and my emotions. Jeanne is a helper who helps me keep my integrity and honesty. We peek into a college room with a female, Asian teacher. It is a place of higher learning, but maybe it is too much about mental knowledge. The wrought iron furniture is too hard and not comfortable. Wrought can mean deeply agitated especially from emotions. (I’ve had enough of that). Jeanne and I go to a water park and have fun. We play with our emotions. We get refreshed and cleansed. The father could represent Kevin who hasn’t learned to relax and have fun and the 12 year old could represent Antonia who could be emotionally 12 years old. (she ran away from home around 13). The father could be a side of me that is keeps ruminating on the situation with Kevin. The 12 year part of me needs to let go and have fun. At the end my husband/masculine comes and we walk off with our arms around each other’s waists to go eat; to get some nurturing. I am moving in the direction of self nurturing. I think the answer to my question about connecting with Kevin in a positive way is to connect to myself in a more positive way. I think this will help both of us. Also, to live my life and have fun.