Author: bonniemitsch

I am talking a video of myself and a young boy. We are inside in a room I do not recognize. I have my old, medium format camera. (it had no video capacity). The boy is around 10 years old. I ask him to let me take a photo of him to check out the camera settings. (Fstop and shutter speed). I say I will sit down and he will stand because I am bigger than him. I go ahead and take the video. However, it is way too dark. I realize I have to change the settings so more light gets in.

There is a scene where I am looking inside the camera. I have stored some things in there. There are about 6-7 things wrapped up in some material. They are round.

Now the boy and I are outside by a sidewalk and two small trees. I am deciding where to take the video. I decide to do it under the larger tree.

Feeling: focused, determined to get it to work.

I am outside on a sunny, summer day. I am with my siblings and our young children; nine months to two years old. I pick flowers. They are similar to dandy lions that have gone to seed, but larger. They are light yellow. All the flowers are close together and look full. However, when I start to pick individual flowers, I notice that each flower looks “half gone”. I am fine with that and think I will pick enough flowers so the bouquet looks good.

My siblings and I then move to an area where our kids are crawling/walking to. It is still part of the grassy field we are on. I am sitting on the ground and nine month old Patrick is sitting on my lap. All of a sudden, he scoots off of my lap and starts to crawl away. Kevin who is a teenager comes and gently tackles him. They both lay down on their backs with their heads together. It is very sweet.

I continue to work on healing after being cut off from Kevin. Right now I am reading a book on forgiveness. Shaney suggested I write in a journal to Kevin’s higher self. She said work on questions like, “What do you have to teach me?” and “What do I need to learn?” etc. The trick is to ask the “right” questions.

Patrick is about 1.5 years younger than Kevin. Kevin, Patrick and Charlotte were all in the same grade and we called them the “2nd tier”. There were three kids about four years older and three kids about four years younger. When the kids were growing up my sisters and sister-in-law used to do a lot of things together like camping, going to Valley Fair, going up to the family cabin, etc. Kevin, Patrick and Charlotte got along very well.