(Friday, August 23, 2019) moon third quarter Gemini / tarot knight of pentacles
A very long, detailed dream, also inspired by Lola waking me up in the predawn. Then I fall back to “sleep”:
Bonnie and I attend a retreat together on a large island. We are staying offsite at an Airbnb, not at the hotel where the retreat takes place. The rental is a huge, ramshackle, multistory house. It has the vibration of an old hippie commune from the 60s or early 70s. Nothing is tidy. Rooms are strewn with all kinds of treasures and trash. The furniture needs mending, and the building structure too.
We walk outside and head to the hotel. The island village is busy and populated. Bike riders are ambling everywhere. Pedestrians travel together on cobblestone walkways. Some people are catching the bus. It feels like Berkeley-In-The-Woods.
Our retreat takes place in a modestly-sized square meeting room in the hotel. We the participants, all of us female, sit on wooden chairs along the wall and are guided by Jill Purce. She has her own throne-like chair across from the meeting room door. This intimate space has no windows.
Bonnie and I are seated together, listening to all of the moving, emotional stories of our women friends. Bonnie’s narrative describes the heart-breaking, psychedelic-style behaviors of Paul as he sinks into dementia. I have experienced a similar tale in my life, but without the predictable, permanent fail of Alzheimer’s. I worry for Bonnie. At one point we move closer to Jill, just one or two chairs away.
Bonnie is very connected to everyone in the room. She is a medicine woman. She is rubbing her hands against my breasts, which in the dream confuses me, but when I wake up I think she is healing my heart chakra. My maternal instincts?
When our group finishes our work together, Bonnie and I return to the Airbnb. We have to get ready for a next-day early flight and we are having trouble packing up our gear because of the chaotic ambience of the house. The windows are wide open: there was a strong storm while we were away and the rooms are rain-soaked and wind-scattered. A tuxedo domestic shorthair feline sits outside of one window, staring attentively into the weathered mess. He has the energy of a powerful psychopomp.
Suddenly, two gregarious gay men of late middle age come dashing into the foyer of the house. They have rented a separate space, which surprises me. I thought the Airbnb was a single dwelling. In the same moment, a threatening letter is delivered from the owners, accusing Bonnie and me of causing storm damage to the house by neglectfully leaving the windows open. They demand $7,999! This completely shocks me and I howl out loud, falling to my knees. Tears stream down my cheeks. My heart aches. I feel deeply traumatized. Bonnie contacts my ex coworker Dave S. for legal advice (he now lives in Colorado and is a “green” realtor).
The dream shifts. Bonnie and I arrive at the harbor to catch our water taxi. We have moved on from the lunacy of the nasty Airbnb owners. We have places to go. A fit young woman captains the open speedboat for us. I sit at the bow, watching the waves. Bonnie sits at the stern with a group of laughing little girls. All of our hair is waving in the strongly flowing breeze.
Day notes:
Complex messaging in this dream. Black and white Lola has become my psychopomp because of her pattern to wake me at 3:30 and 5 in the morning. I feel this dream confirms the karmic strength and wisdom of Bonnie’s work as a dream guide. She was a popular choice for members of the Hollyhock retreat.
Perspective from Bonnie (an email from August 24):
“Some things that caught my attention: We are staying ‘offsite’ as opposed to ‘onsite.’ So something is not right. I am wondering about the reference to the era of the 60s and 70s – hippie, Berkeley. It was quite a transitional time. Anti establishment, lots of drugs, simplistic (all we need is love), yet good in how it shook up the status quo (personally as well as the culture). So a time of change? An upheaval (even more so with the storm). We are still in the woods and surrounded by water which to me is a positive. The house being ramshackle (love that word) makes me wonder if my life and/or my physical body is a mess right now. Everything up in the air (Airbnb)!
“All of us women meet in a square room with Jill. A more secure, stable place? And we are all emoting, cleansing our emotions. I love that we move closer to Jill. Are we moving closer to wisdom? I am rubbing your breasts. I would think that has to do with stimulating maternal energy. For who? You?
“When we get back the windows are wide open. Does that reference being able to ‘see’ more clearly? I love the cat outside the window also witnessing.
“Gay men? Some new energy entering the space. Maybe in reference to a more happy energy?
“Threatening letter? $7999 adds up to 7. From the handout from the woman who did the workshop on numbers at IASD: Mystical, inner wisdom, healing, transformation. Change, even for the better, is always threatening to our egos.
“And then of course, is our glorious get away. I love it especially with the wind in our hair. We should also all have our middle fingers raised!!“