Denise and I go downtown Minneapolis to a fancy car dealership that also has lots of specialty gifts. We stand in line outside to get in. Lots of other people are let in first because they have made reservations. When we get in, we walk around and look at the gifts. I look at a round film canister with a roll of very thin film rolled up inside it. I touch the film and pull part of it out. I then have trouble putting it back in.
One of the workers comes and asks me to go with him a test drive this Toyota. He says all I need to do is put $5000 down and can drive it away. I tell him I am a retired teacher and cannot afford that. However, I continue to follow him to do the test drive. I start to wonder if maybe I could afford it.
Denise had been here by herself before and test drove another kind of car. I think my salesman just found out about some family difficulty which upset him. I also start thinking that returning to Mpls. isn’t the best idea. There are lots of people and it could be difficult to find doctors.
Daynotes: I have been toying with the idea to move closer to the cities and share a house with Kelsi, Keenan and Freya. Paul and I would have a separate entrance and space. I want to be pro-active. I am getting older and the house in Walker is a lot of work. Paul has difficulty with his memory. We could help Kelsi and Keenan with Freya and they could help us out.
Walker, being a small town, is easier for Paul. He loves fishing and pickle ball. He knows people and the town. I have a few close friends here. Moving back to Mpls., would be a big change. o
If this were my dream, I am with Denise, my caretaker self who is into personal growth, We wait in line to get into a gift shop/car dealership in Minneapolis. A gift shop is a place where one is “gifted”. A car dealership is a place to buy a new car-a new way to get through life. Others have made reservations and get in first. Reservations could represent having second thoughts. The film canister has film 1/4 inch wide. I pull out some film. Is this a movie of my life? I am pulling out part of it, upsetting it and I can’t put it back. This could mean I am changing something in my life that can’t be reversed. (like selling this house and moving to Mpls?) The car salesman wants me to drive a Toyota. It is the kind of car Paul and I have now and like. Maybe the dream is saying living in Mpls. won’t be that much different than now. It would cost me $5000 and I could drive the car away. Can I afford that? Maybe it is not just the money, but the change in my (our) lives. I think it is too expensive, then start to rethink it. I pick up the car salesman having difficulty in his family. Maybe this is pointing out that Kevin does feel bad about cutting Paul and I off. Or maybe, trying to live with Kelsi and Keenan may not be a good idea even though we would have separate living quarters. At the end, I have second thoughts about the move to Minneapolis. There are too many people and it may be hard to get in to see a doctor for Paul. Feeling: overwhelmed
