My friend, Renee, has a yoga tape that Renee, a man from India and I all follow and do the poses. However, there is a teacher as well who is leading us. We are inside in a cramped space. I knock the man’s hand by mistake when doing a pose. We paid for the class. The man wants a receipt. I go up to a higher level and get a receipt pad from this secretary. She keeps it in an ornate cup in an ornate container.
I then take a bus to a fancy thrift store. There are lots of shoppers and workers in the store. For some reason, I have to make out the receipt at this thrift store.
I then realize I forgot the receipt pad! I have to go back to where we did the yoga class. However, I do not know the way back. I look at gps on my phone and I am still confused.
Scene: Indian man has a large,beautiful bouquet of lavender flowers. They are for his mother. I bend over to smell them. They do not have any fragrance!
Scene: There is a woman who sleeps in a box. I lift the box off of her and ask if she isn’t cold. (it is cold outside). There is a pile of blankets on the ground next to her. I ask her why she is not using them. She says they are not hers. When Kevin was young, he got up on his tip toes and kissed her. I tell someone at the thrift store that it was very cute how he did this.
On 7/8/24 I shared this dream with Jeanne and Denise. I think this dream is helping me look at the reality that children, even adult children, do not really know the authentic parts of their parents until they mature and experience what their parents experienced or something similar. I feel I have gotten to know my mother better and better as I have aged even though she has been dead for 26 years! I see parts of her that are like me-shy in new situations, working hard to be a good mother/person, and just liking similar things such as clean windows. But it is more than these “surface” things. I feel like I am connecting more and more to her soul and her authentic self. And this makes me happy. With my struggle with Kevin-cutting Paul and I off from him and the grandchildren, I am understanding that Kevin doesn’t know me. He projects things onto me such as selfishness. He may not get to know me in my lifetime. He, also, may have to get to know me as I am getting to know my mother: after I die.
This is what I wrote: If this were my dream, I am with Renee who symbolizes my authentic self (that part of me that comes out when I am with her). I am also with an East Indian man who is also a part of me. The part that feels awkward and somewhat uncomfortable in a new situation. The three of us are doing yoga-a meditative practice for spirituality which is important to me.
This male part of me wants a receipt to show he has paid for this spiritual practice. Is this some kind of proof that what I am going through with Kevin is worth it? The receipt pad is kept on a higher level in an ornate cup and in an ornate box on the secretary’s desk. Is this some sort of proof of karma payment? I feel I learned a lot from Becky rejecting me. This time with Kevin, I am not feeling it is all my fault and that I need to do something to change it. I am more willing to let go and let God. Maybe, the part in the dream of being in the fancy thrift store with lots of people and workers represents others that have gone through rejection such as myself. (Renee also has gone through rejection with her husband wanting to separate. }
The woman in the box is a part of me that needs to work on self-love and compassion. Take better care of myself. I also need to remind myself of Kevin’s essence which was obvious when he was four years old and that that part of him is still there, even though it is blocked right now.
