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I am at home with Paul. I keep bossing him around. I tell him I will work at not doing this. We go in a car and get gas from a pump in the yard of Julie Ann and Mike. Paul adds dirt afterward. Paul is going to stay overnight at his friends’s house. I think that would be an intrusion because they are going out of town the next morning. Paul is going to stay anyway.

There is a young woman who is excited about going to Australia to make a pickle ball court. I tell her it will be winter there so the weather will not be too different than where we are. I get photos from Sheila Le Corre with notes typed on them. They are old photos. I find out she is sending them to all the birthday goddesses.

I get in the car and drive home. Paul stays with his friend.

Day Notes: Sad and crying. Looking for therapist.

I am looking for a snake. I look outside around a rectangular field. It is evening. I walk along the edge. Someone reminds me to look inside the corners, like a basement. I need to have the snake bite me for a cure.

Daynotes: I am very sad and crying a lot. Kevin cut us off a couple of days ago. I ask for a dream that will solve the situation where we can have contact with Rowan and Markus.

I worked this dream with Kathleen and Shaney. I went back into the dream and walked on the edge of the field on the left hand side. There wasn’t a snake in the upper left hand corner. I walk to the right. In the upper right hand corner is a brown, medium sized snake. He is calm and it seems like he is waiting for me. I wonder if he needs to bite me on my bare foot or my hand. I decide it is the hand. I reach my right hand down in front of his mouth. He bites me on the side of my hand and leaves two pink marks. It is somewhat painful but not bad. I stand up and feel I can breathe so much better. I then go out into the middle of the field. I have a skirt and shawl on now and a twirl arounds feeling free. I then imagine a shield around Rowan and Markus. I say to them that I am sorry this is happening. It has nothing to do with them. I miss them and love them. I then light candles for Kevin, Antonia and the boys.

The discussion had to do with letting the toxicity of the situation with Kevin and Antonia out of my body,

I am at a conference. Bruce, Ardy, Chris and Dan are there. I make love to Bruce a few times. (Bruce is in his early 80’s and is the president of our Association in Walker. He volunteers a lot in town and is quite Hardy for his age-definitely no sexual attraction!!) I am younger than in waking life-maybe in my 50’s. The sex feels good. I feel bad, though, and decide to put an end to it because Ardy, Bruce’s wife, would be hurt by us having sex. Bruce would keep doing it.

I notice two men at the hotel/conference center. They are gay. One guy dresses in a suit. The other dresses in street clothes. They pass each other periodically and say hi. They have to keep their relationship hidden.

I see Chris. She tells me the day before she took her class outside to sunbathe. It was a beautiful day. Later Dan is there and he says he also took his class out to sunbathe. They used these short ropes and small nails to tighten the ropes for the people to use when sunbathing. Dan helps me with my rope and nails. I am not sure why I am doing this, but think I must have a class and will take them sunbathing.

Scene: I am leaving my hotel room and needing to lock the door with a key. I can’t lock the door from the inside like it should.

Scene: There is a four year old boy. His dad puts him on a pile of posters that are on a table in the hotel store. The boy climbs around the table on the posters. The dad goes off to look at something in the store. I keep an eye on the boy as he climbs around. He gets down and starts for the door. I go and tell the dad.

Daynotes: Had a rough day. Paul woke me up from a deep sleep at around 11:00. I got angry and couldn’t go back to sleep. Worked with Susan and Bryn on a dream. First we had a very good discussion about our sons and what we were struggling with, with them. I worked on the white horse dream. The suggestion was to allow the horse to lick me. Be receptive to nurturing. I talked with Paul about asking me how I am feeling. I feel I can’t show emotion around him. He tells me to get therapy like that will solve my emotional state and all will be fine again. I am upset about Kevin stopping story time with Rowan and Markus. Two days later, he tells us he is cutting us off completely.