Category: Uncategorized

I am talking a video of myself and a young boy. We are inside in a room I do not recognize. I have my old, medium format camera. (it had no video capacity). The boy is around 10 years old. I ask him to let me take a photo of him to check out the camera settings. (Fstop and shutter speed). I say I will sit down and he will stand because I am bigger than him. I go ahead and take the video. However, it is way too dark. I realize I have to change the settings so more light gets in.

There is a scene where I am looking inside the camera. I have stored some things in there. There are about 6-7 things wrapped up in some material. They are round.

Now the boy and I are outside by a sidewalk and two small trees. I am deciding where to take the video. I decide to do it under the larger tree.

Feeling: focused, determined to get it to work.

I am outside on a sunny, summer day. I am with my siblings and our young children; nine months to two years old. I pick flowers. They are similar to dandy lions that have gone to seed, but larger. They are light yellow. All the flowers are close together and look full. However, when I start to pick individual flowers, I notice that each flower looks “half gone”. I am fine with that and think I will pick enough flowers so the bouquet looks good.

My siblings and I then move to an area where our kids are crawling/walking to. It is still part of the grassy field we are on. I am sitting on the ground and nine month old Patrick is sitting on my lap. All of a sudden, he scoots off of my lap and starts to crawl away. Kevin who is a teenager comes and gently tackles him. They both lay down on their backs with their heads together. It is very sweet.

I continue to work on healing after being cut off from Kevin. Right now I am reading a book on forgiveness. Shaney suggested I write in a journal to Kevin’s higher self. She said work on questions like, “What do you have to teach me?” and “What do I need to learn?” etc. The trick is to ask the “right” questions.

Patrick is about 1.5 years younger than Kevin. Kevin, Patrick and Charlotte were all in the same grade and we called them the “2nd tier”. There were three kids about four years older and three kids about four years younger. When the kids were growing up my sisters and sister-in-law used to do a lot of things together like camping, going to Valley Fair, going up to the family cabin, etc. Kevin, Patrick and Charlotte got along very well.

I pull the bed away from the window. The bedroom is upstairs in an older house. I put the bed in front of the door so no one can get in. I plant seeds under the window. Once they are growing I move the blockage.

Now there are two twin beds under the window on either side of it. Deb and Joyce will sleep there. There is a third bed in the bedroom which I will sleep in.

Next scene: Paul and I hug. He is getting undressed for bed. We are in the same bedroom as above.

This is what I wrote after working the dream: If this were my dream, I need some private time to get in touch with being in the present moment and enjoy what I am doing even when it is a “task”. (block the door with the bed). Bedroom/bed=a private place. I plant seeds-new growth. I do not let anyone in until the plants are established. (somehow having anyone else come in will hurt this growth. ) Maybe this is me getting in touch with my inner self and not being influenced by others. When the plants are established I end the blockade and put two beds on either side of the window for Deb and Joyce who are old friends that have never influenced me in a negative way. They are very supportive friends. They also represent having supportive people in my life-not people who make me doubt myself. Paul comes and we hug. He represents connection with my masculine energy. This is a balancing energy. He undresses for bed. He has nothing to hide. This dream may be a confirmation that I am more ready to deal with Kevin if and when we reconnect.